Use Your Beauty For Good

I don't know when I first started doing it - affirming people, but I guess it is in my blood. I got to thinking about how afraid people are to pay compliments to others, especially if they see physical beauty in them. I guess I just got sick of seeing the beauty and not being able respond - to be able say, "Thank you for moving me!"

I think of a quirky - pretty lady who passes by me every morning. I have my earphones on, she has hers on, and she flops by in a cutesie - awkward way in her slim, floral patterned, rubber thong sandals. We briefly acknowledge each other with a nod, and a smile. And that's when it really happens - when she smiles. Oh what a lovely sight! There's something so guileless and genuine about her smile. I love it. It makes my heart jump, and I thank God for her little gift to me, every workday, just before I find myself back in the drudgery of something that is so far from whom I really am. Her beauty reminds me of her Creator, and that one day I will see His beauty face to face. I feel frissons of anticipation at that thought.

One day, months ago, after a couple months of passing by her, I could stand it no longer. I stopped her and told her that she has the loveliest smile, and I thanked her for it. I think she almost fell over, and her smile grew broader. I told her that she makes my day better.

We still pass each other on most workdays, and I feel joy, for I am sure that she knows my motives are pure, and she knows that her beauty is good.

I took the time to randomly interview some women recently. I stopped them in streets, or pubs and asked, "How do you feel when you get a double-take, when a man recognizes your beauty and tells you by smiling, or nodding? Is it a welcome occurrence? Do you care to reciprocate the greeting - the acknowledgment?"

Harriet, (married), said that she feels affirmed by a smile or a double - take from a stranger. She'll happily reciprocate, as she feels it makes someone's day, and it is the polite thing to do. She thinks that most people who can't bring themselves to smile or acknowledge a stranger's look of appreciation are generally shy, so they feel too embarrassed to express themselves in any way other than to ignore her or to look away. She thinks that's just a sad fact of life.

Rachel, (married), said that she is never fazed by such things. She loves the opportunity to reciprocate someone's appreciation - it is like a salute. Whenever someone is kind and honest enough to show their appreciation for her beauty, she salutes them right back.

Rebecca, (married), said that she hates the fact that, in so many Christian circles, pretty women are made to feel almost guilty for their beauty, as if to be beautiful is taboo, as if pretty women ought to hide away and not be seen, and she believes that it is because those with less physical beauty can often be "catty" - out of envy, and because of their own insecurities. Sometimes she wishes she wasn't so pretty, and she sheds tears, crying, "God, why did You make me this way?"

In a local pub, Heidi, (single), said that her bad experiences with men, in the past, have made her very much twice shy. She feels uncomfortable under the gazes of men. She feels like an object. She is afraid to give men "the wrong impression."

Her friend Simone, (married), enjoys getting a smile from a stranger, "It makes me glad, because it means that I've still got what it takes." Simone likes the idea of men and women "saluting" one another. She said that she thinks it's healthy.

Cora, (single), said that attention is welcome, as long as she feels that the guy is attractive. Although she seems quite fussy about what she feels is attractive to her, she said that she would be amenable to change if got to know the guy.

Sarah, (married), and an artist, said that her reactions all depend on her moods. Generally, she finds positive attention welcome and would love to reciprocate affirmation from someone of the opposite sex, but sometimes her insecurities get the better of her and she just clams up and wants to disappear. She thinks we Westerners are all a bit too uptight.

Is there a message in all of this? Insecurities, fear, envy, shyness. Are we all just afraid of being used, or misunderstood? Do we fear that people are trying to manipulate us with flattery, or trying to stalk us? Honestly, think about it - just how many people want to show others their appreciation out of malevolent intent? How many rotten apples are there in every bunch?

Maybe we ought to re-think everything we know about showing mutual appreciation between the sexes. The world would be better if we doffed our caps, or tipped our hats - "saluted" one another more often. Trouble is: very few of us wear headgear these days anymore. In lieu of doffed caps, I propose that we start smiling at one another. Imagine what this world would look like if we all smiled genuinely at one another more often.

Men: smile - let the women know that they are lovely, and worth pursuing.

Women: smile - let the men know they have what it takes.

Marrieds: If you think "saluting" is gonna land you up in an illicit relationship, then why are you even married? Quit worrying about "taboo," and be real without guile.

So what do you do with YOUR beauty? How about changing your world - the world around you?

You can choose to snub your admirers, and be selfish with your gift. Or you can be kind and confident, alluring yet controlled - winsome without being misleading. Charming and encouraging without guile, without ulterior intent.

Your beauty is a gift, not for you only, or even your future spouse, but for the rest of the world around you - those with whom you come into contact. You should by now realize that not everyone gets to have physical beauty - your gift.

You see, people are drawn instinctively to loveliness, and would, for the love of God, you not say one kind word to them from your place of elevation? For that is what they long for. If only you would listen for a time, really listen from your place of loveliness, then impart some kind word, you would enact something special in another human, you would brighten their heart because you cared enough to give of your presence, gracing another precious heart with a glimpse of the Source of beauty, for which we all yearn albeit so often unwittingly. It is only ever a few humans that have external physical beauty bestowed upon them. And this is such a fleeting gift, because age swiftly mars the external, so would it not be wise to allow such a fleeting gift to have its fullest and most far reaching impact?

You may be oblivious to your gift, always wondering why it is that you get so many double-takes, why men stare. And so you react in an insecure and awkward fashion whenever you are in the presence of a man. Do you find yourself asking the questions, "Why is he looking at me? Do I look odd? Is what I'm wearing ugly?"

Or do you think to yourself, "How dare he look at me? What a pervert! Why can't people just leave me alone, and mind their own business?"

If those are your thoughts, then perhaps consider changing your way of thinking, because, only a very few people are truly perverts, and, in truth, every one of us has fallen short of God's glory. Only He does not err in his ways. So what if somebody had impure thoughts? By your purity perhaps you might provoke conviction.

Go on then, run your fingers through your tresses, let them fall from your hands and caress your neck. They are like grace, mercy poured down. Loveliness of the Creator frames your face.

And what is true beauty? It is when the external becomes internalized. When you look better on the inside than your transient physical body might imply. You get old, you wrinkle and the old you fades away. And when you learn to steadily change your focus from what you are losing externally so as to gain what you may never have had internally, then you will begin to really love and be loved, and you will change your world for good!